Show not tell

Hey bloggers 

These are really bad sentences 

I will fix them 

First one is 

Tell:Kate was shocked

Show:Jaw open eyebrows raised like and elevator on the top floor and eyes unblinking. Kates heartbeat was on one million miles a minute and her face was as pale as snow. 

The second one is 

Tell:Lily was exited to see her dad  

Show:Wide eyed and jumpy. Talking high pitch and fast. Her eyes sparkled like a million stars.

The third one is

Tell:She felt sad 

Show: Face scrunched up and hot salty tears dripping down her face  her insides felt like they had just died. 

Blog ya later
Ava